It is hard enough to start your very own home-based business, but it is three times as hard to do it when your husband or partner is not supporting your venture. You may need him to watch the kids to meet a deadline or to help out getting supper on the table when you need to deliver fifty gift baskets first thing the next morning.
But many moms find that their husband just won't help out or even offer any emotional support when it comes to starting a home business. But why is this?
Some husbands feel threatened with the possibility of your success. What if your home business really takes off and you become the family's prized breadwinner, with your husband's income suddenly becoming the supplementary one?
Others just don't want to see you take time away from household duties. You might be able to live with the bathroom being cleaned every other week, and grocery shopping becoming a once-a-month ordeal, but your husband may view it as the fact that you are neglecting your "wifely" duties.
Other husbands just can't seem to get their mind around the fact that just because you work within the home doesn't mean that you still have the same number of hours to devote to household chores every week. And they will resent when they are asked to start pulling their weight around the house such as doing the dishes or folding the laundry.
If your business is generating enough income, you might even consider hiring a person to come in and do the "nitty gritty" cleaning once a week or a couple of times a month. You may find that it is more cost effective to hire a cleaner rather than lose those hours of working time on your business.
The Unsupportive Husband
This one is tough. While we want to be independent women with our independent business, the fact is we are wives and mothers first. Believe me when I say, no business will be a success when you and your spouse are at odds over it.
But what can you do to help solve this situation? How can you get the spousal backing you need?
First and foremost, you must both sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk. Start with a well built plan and a lot of faith (remember if you love it so will everyone else). Don't do this after an argument. Doing it then will just result in barbs being thrown back and forth with no real solution being found. Some moms suggest having this discussion in a restaurant, as it will keep yelling to a minimum (hopefully!) and prevent most from just getting up and leaving, effectively ending any discussion on the subject.
Explain how you will set you priorities and “fit” the business in rather than fitting the family in. You may suggest involving your dear husband in the business as well so you can share your business triumphs as a team! Give him time, start slow, and as he sees the results, he will be more likely to give you the extra encouragement you need.
Some just will never change. Whether they are old-fashioned, secretly terrified of your success, or just plain resentful that you get to stay home all day, some will just never change. You will have to come up with your own personal compromise, or evaluate how you can run your business while still running your household with little disruption.
Let's touch on a few of the potential underlying causes and give some tips for overcoming them.
When money is the issue
Leaving the workforce and giving up a steady paycheck can often make finances tight at home in the beginning. If that choice affects your financial lifestyle, it can often result in resentment of the business.
Sit down and talk with your husband. Show him your objectives and how you plan to meet your goals with your business, and how it will result in an income that will contribute to the household. Often times, seeing that things will only be tight for a certain amount of time gives them a light at the end of the tunnel and can do wonders for their patience.
Take the time to learn the tax benefits you will receive by being a home based business owner. Explain those benefits to your husband once you have solid details from your accountant.
Work on your family budget. Try to cut costs where it makes the least impact on your lifestyle. One of the biggest budget areas you can cut with some innovation and good recipes is your grocery budget. Look for cheaper rates for your utilities, your car insurance and your health insurance. Showing your husband that you are finding ways to keep costs down while you get your business off the ground can often make them see that living on one paycheck is not as bad as they think.
When quality time is the issue
When working your business to realize your goals, you can often become consumed by it. This can leave your husband feeling neglected and unimportant.
Establish a period of time daily that you can devote just to spend time with your husband. Show them that even though you are busy, you still make it a priority to make time for them. Try not to “schedule” this time and make your husband feel like they need to be “penciled in”. Instead, be aware of times when you have the ability to take a break and get some quality time in with your husband.
Do something special for your husband at least once a week. Make their favorite meal or watch that football game or a movie with him that he loves. Give him a back massage or go out on a date. Just show him that you care enough to do something just for him.
People working a business from home are famous for “burning the midnight oil”. Once a week, be sure to turn off that computer or put down that paperwork and head to bed at a reasonable time with your husband.
When household duties are the issue
Anyone who works a business from home and is still responsible for the majority of the housework can tell you this is not an easy task to do with success. A spouse working outside the home can often become less than appreciative of their work from home partner’s business when the household is not being kept in decent shape. Often times, small things can make the difference.
Find out what household duties are most important to your husband and be sure to have those done on a regular basis. Maybe it is having laundry clean and folded or the dishes done. Having the things most important to your husband done on a regular basis can often help in him being more patient with those that aren’t “pet peeves”.
Schedule your household work into your day. An hour a day consistently can get a lot accomplished and keep your house looking organized.
Talk with your husband about what he can do to help. Often times, we expect that our work out of the home counterparts know what we need from them to keep things running smoothly in the home. Many times, just sitting down with your husband and being honest about what you need help with can make wonders.
Let me know if this Blog gave you some tips. Remember, be patient. Business takes time to grow. Be consistent and show everyone that YOU MEAN BUSINESS!
Leave me a reply with your thoughts.
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If the 90's British pop sensation 'the Spice Girls' ever get remembered for anything, I hope it's for bringing the question 'now tell me what you want, what you really, really want?' to the mass consciousness!
Now you may laugh at this, but when you really, really think about it, is there a more important question you could ask yourself?
What is a want?
A want is a desire. Whether or not we get what we want is often based upon the strength of our desires.
I know many will probably argue with this statement, but in some strange way, there is a part of me that truly believes that we all get what we want. If you really had a burning desire to change your reality, you would do it, right? Well, I'd like to think so.
Now if you're convinced that it's time you actually started wanting more, then allow me to share three simple but powerful secrets.
1. Know what you want.
If ever there was a personal development concept that was worth grasping it's this one: know what you want. If you don't know what you want, do you really believe that you have any chance whatsoever of getting it?
The sad reality of life is the fact that the majority of people in this world don't know what they want. Even sadder is the fact that this is the way most people prefer it.
If you aren't actively pursuing your own wants and desires, chances are that you will become a statistic of un-fulfilment. Always remember that your employer, government, financial institutions, family and peer groups will all be trying to shape your life according to their wants, not yours.
2. Ask for what you want.
Once you are clear about what it is you want, you've got to ask for it!
Can you imagine sitting in a restaurant, reading the menu, making your selection, but not telling the waiter? What are your chances of getting a meal? Pretty slim!
If you are clear about what you want, you need to start telling other people about your aspirations. When you do this, you will find that others will conspire to help make your dream a reality.
I've personally had countless experiences of people going out of their way to help me once I had let them know what I wanted.
3. Expect to receive what you want.
It is also very important that you start to develop the mindset where you just expect to get everything you ask for. When you set your brain a task or embed an expectation, it will naturally seek a favourable resolution.
To extend my restaurant example, once you've placed your order, you create the expectation within your mind that you will get exactly what you want. If the waiter didn't bring the meal you ordered, you'd naturally send it back and wait till they brought you what you asked for. Why not put this concept into practice in the other areas of your life? You'll be pleasantly surprised by the results!
Success always has a price!
Once you have decided upon what you want, asked for it and established the expectation of receiving it, the only thing left for you to do is pay the price. Despite what many self-help gurus might have you believe, success will not come to you without sacrifice. Be very aware of what you are prepared to 'pay' in order to get what you want.
After all that, if your life still isn't serving you the banquet that you want and deserve, just keep sending it back to the kitchen until it does!
If you are a #Mompreneur or Woman Entrepreneur, I’m here to support you in your life and
business goals, and to help you with getting exactly what you want! I have spaces available for a Powerful Coaching Session where you can get one-on-one support to take you closer to those goals. Book your spot HERE and let’s chat!
How many times have you caught yourself saying that there could be no other solution to a problem – and that that problem leads to a dead end?
How many times have you felt stumped knowing that the problem laying before you is one you cannot solve. No leads. No options. No solutions. Did it feel like you had exhausted all possible options and yet are still before the mountain – large, unconquerable, and impregnable?
When encountering such enormous problems, you may feel like you're hammering against a steel mountain. The pressure of having to solve such a problem may be overwhelming.
But rejoice! There might be some hope yet! With some creative problem-solving techniques you may be able to look at your problem in a different light. And that light might just be the end of the tunnel that leads to possible solutions.
First of all, in the light of creative problem-solving, you must be open-minded to the fact that there may be more than just one solution to the problem. And, you must be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems you thought were unsolvable. Now, with this optimistic mindset, we can try to be a little bit more creative in solving our problems.
1. Maybe the reason we cannot solve our problems is that we have not really taken a hard look at what the problem is. Here, trying to understanding the problem and having a concrete understanding of its workings is integral solving the problem. If you know how it works, what the problem is, then you have a better foundation towards solving the problem. Not trying to make the simple statement of what problem is. Try to identify the participating entities and what their relationships with one another are. Take note of the things you stand to gain any stand to lose from the current problem. Now you have a simple statement of what the problem is.
2. Try to take note of all of the constraints and assumptions you have the words of problem. Sometimes it is these assumptions that obstruct our view of possible solutions. You have to identify which assumptions are valid, in which assumptions need to be addressed.
3. Try to solve the problem by parts. Solve it going from general view towards the more detailed parts of the problem. This is called the top-down approach. Write down the question, and then come up with a one-sentence solution to that from them. The solution should be a general statement of what will solve the problem. From here you can develop the solution further, and increase its complexity little by little.
4. Although it helps to have critical thinking aboard as you solve a problem, you must also keep a creative, analytical voice at the back of your head. When someone comes up with a prospective solution, tried to think how you could make that solution work. Try to be creative. At the same time, look for chinks in the armor of that solution.
5. It pays to remember that there may be more than just one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all the solutions and their developments. Remember, there may be more than just one solution to the problem.
6. Remember that old adage," two heads are better than one." That one is truer than it sounds. Always be open to new ideas. You can only benefit from listening to all the ideas each person has. This is especially true when the person you're talking to has had experience solving problems similar to yours. You don't have to be a gung-ho, solo hero to solve the problem. If you can organize collective thought on the subject, it would be much better.
7. Be patient. As long as you persevere, there is always a chance that a solution will present itself. Remember that no one was able to create an invention the first time around. Creative thinking exercises can also help you in your quest be a more creative problems solver. Here is one example. Take a piece of paper and write any word that comes to mind at the center. Now look at that word then write the first two words that come to your mind. This can go on until you can build a tree of related words. This helps you build analogical skills, and fortify your creative processes.
So, next time you see a problem you think you can not solve, think again. The solution might just be staring you right in the face. All it takes is just a little creative thinking, some planning, and a whole lot of work.
Let me know in the comments which of these steps stood out to you the most.
Are you successful? What does that word mean to you? Unlimited wealth, land as far as the eye can see, or family vacations in Italy?
Success is a state of mind, and I would like to help you Succeed! Below are some dynamic belief steps to follow.
S – Start believing in yourself and what you do!
Starting=beginning. If you wouldn’t have taken the risk and got on your bicycle for the first time, would you have the confidence that you do now as you mount your bike for a ride through town? This belief comes from within and turns your dreams and vision into reality!
U – Understand another's point of view.
You don’t know it all, so don’t appear to. Put yourself in their shoes and listen. Have empathy.
What does the other person want? What are they feeling? Block out your own feelings and the voice that has a response to their statements and truly “BE” with the one you are talking with. Don’t interrupt! Have you ever thought up the perfect response, so witty and smart, that it burst out of your mouth, only to stop the sentence coming out of the other person’s mouth. You missed them and possibly the sale or relationship.
Have you ever truly been understood? It is the best feeling in the world. When you put yourself aside to put the other person first, that is true sacrifice and success.
C – Confidence isn’t a feeling, it is an action. You need to have it, even when you just don’t feel like you can!
C – Collaborate , share your successes, be vulnerable and share your mistakes.
Be real! You will become a people magnet. Surround yourself with people you admire. Look for like minded people, people who have what you want, who believe as you believe! Find out how they got to where they are and then do the same. Billionare Ross Perot paid millions to attract the brightest to his company. Be people smart.
E – Exercise your brain and body.
Read, read, read! Readers are leaders. Have you thought about that, it is true. The more you know, the more confident you feel and the more comfortable you feel collaborating with those who have what you want. Sound familiar?
Run, run, run! Keep your body in shape. Make a list of the people you admire, who have what you want? What do they look like? Do they exercise or take care of their outer body as well as their mind and soul?
E- Encourage others! Your friends, family, business partners all deserve to hear praise. Dig deep to find something they are good at or have done well, then say it, write it, sing a song to it, whatever, just acknowledge it to that other person!
D- Determine to be better than who you are and you’ll be surprised at who you’ll become!
Use the bulldog determination like the tortoise and the Hare. Even the snail made it to the ark. Determine not to quit, creatively begin again and again, and again! How hard are you going to work? How bad do you want it! It isn’t that hard, just…
Start believing in yourself.
Understand another’s point of view.
Confidence – do it and then feel it!
Collaborate with those who have what you want.
Exercise your mind, body and soul.
Determine to be better than who you are and you’ll be surprised at who you’ll become –
Let me know what you are going to start doing today in the comments below.
Kelisha Mills is a Blog Contributor to #BossBabe and other private companies. She shares about her life and business, and how to grow them.